Mom's

It has been over a month since I wrote last, and it has been a very busy month. At the end of October, we were out of funds, food, and gas. We have been adjusting downward, learning to live on just my husband's disability. It pays the main bills and gas. Nothing left for food or those other extras. Ha ha. Anyway, Mom invited us to stay with her for a "visit." "Bring the dogs; it will be fine." Well, we invaded and gradually took over. Just kidding. But she did start staying up later with us, as we started watching more TV and watching movies every night. She had a nice wooden fenced yard, and we were able to take Bengy with us. He was the only thing keeping us at the house every night. And we only needed to go to Shawnee once a week, which took almost a week's gas allowance to go to do business and collect the mail. But we were able to keep expenses down, and she fed us, which made Thomas happy. Seems he thinks I'm starving him.

The problem I had was that I felt like I was losing myself and sight of what we were doing. We were suppose to be getting ready to go, but we were becoming comfortable just sitting at Mom's. The dogs were comfortable; we were comfortable; and Mom was getting used to us being there. My van became not our home, but just a vehicle that I drove. We rarely went to it, except to get something. I wasn't able to walk anymore, or use the computer like I use to. Mom had dialup, and sometimes it wasn't worth the time it took to do very much. We were losing sight of our dream......our purpose......